There is a secret to getting everything you want. And it has nothing to do with figuring anything out.
And you’ve been carrying around a burden, heavy as hell, for years and years.
The belief you’re supposed to know how.
By the end of this piece, you’ll be released from this burden.
It’s simple. Child’s activity book simple. And it’ll change your life.
The Burden
We’re obsessed (and wasting our fucking time) trying to figure out how to level up.
The how is the waste. The waste is the reason it takes so long.
We’re constantly looking forward and saying, “How? How do I solve this puzzle? How do I grow?”
It’s absurd. Here’s why.
When you think about it, you (the person who has no clue how) are obsessing over the thing you’ve never done.
Two steps, and the burden of how to level up is released:
[1] See yourself on a staircase and look backward.
Every single time you leveled up, passed a trial, were victorious, what did you have when you did these things? Nothing. The same feeling you have now. You had no clue how you were going to solve it, yet you’re here, and you did. And I guarantee you, you didn’t solve it with the strategy or a plan you mapped beforehand — precisely carried out step-by-step. No. You started, but what made it happen was…
[2] Being curious.
You moved in the mist. Then, something hopped out. A path was revealed. You didn’t know for sure, but you walked down the path. Or you talked to the thing that hopped out. This is questioning. “Where could this go?” And when you were in the moment, you dropped your need, and you went. You started wondering more deeply.
You started trusting. Curiosity leading. Desperate want left behind, looking at the flowers on the side of the path.
And what no one is realizing when they feel stuck is that you can switch into this mode immediately if you want to.
And that starts with faith—step 1.
Instead of trying to manufacture faith or hope you’re faithful to your growth, that’s overcomplicating it.
You only have to look backward. You look backward, and you find a trying moment and start thinking about how the resolution came about.
You see one of the stairs below you and travel back to it spiritually and have a conversation with it like it’s your six-year-old self and ask all about how they were feeling.
And in this, you get to know yourself truly.
Once transported to this stair as you now, speaking to you then. Listen as a comforting parent would. Delicately hearing about the child’s hard day.
Don’t wait for your turn to speak. Listen. You already know you hold the secret: the experience of how to help that child because you’ve been through it already.
You are one with yourself, and you are holding yourself. You are forgiving of yourself, and you are providing the best gift to your current self.
Through the power of reflection, you may release yourself of the burden of the how.
You do not have to know how because you are not supposed to. You know in your heart of hearts that it’s absurd to plan for something you’ve never done. You know that if you plant the seed of your desire, you will not allow it to grow if every hour you dig it up and check to see if it’s working.
You plant it. Leave it alone. Allow yourself to discover what the seed was meant to be.
This is faith, and faith can be acquired, not bestowed. You beget yourself through reflection of your past self.
The self two stairs down who, in the linear past, felt as terrible as you do now, not feeling they’ll ever figure it out. And you, the omnipotent being, wrapping your arm around their shoulders and saying, “It is already done.”
In a conversation with someone recently, they were in such a place. They had a financial fear. After having success for many years, the last three had been difficult. They’d made a choice they wish they’d not made. And the confidence they once had when building a business that built a life… was gone. Every move now was questioned: “If I was wrong then, might I be wrong now?” It was an hourly torture of this man’s mind.
I told him about the stairs. That it was already done, he said the words, “It has always worked out for me,” soon after. But this was not the revelation.
For what had happened to him in the last three years was that he made a decision out of escape. He had transformed from a life he was good at to a life he wished to choose—a change of scenery. Yet, the origin of his trouble was obvious. He transitioned to this new challenge out of disgust. He was no longer interested in what he’d built and wished it to feel different. But instead of being curious about what that could become — planting the seed and witnessing its potential — he’d already decided this move as a way to run away from the old. And therein lay his problem.
When we make decisions based on escape, we abandon curiosity. This is looking in the past, not as a staircase of evidence, but as historical fiction. It is assessing the past through the lens of a fairy tale.
It made him the explainer. The author of events that seemed ironclad in his mind, which, with the slightest blow of outside perspective, would topple the entire belief system. This was evidenced in our conversation. He’d used this escape mentality to outsource his purpose to another person. This person gave all the classic signs this was not worth their time, and this man was well aware — he consulted his other entrepreneurial friends, laying out the broad strokes of his daily misery, to which his friends said, “Cut bait!” — but no. See, he’d already planned this. He’d already explained how it would go in his mind. He’d told himself when he left his past life and invested in this new one, “This will be it because I say so!” and so he was planning for a future he’d never done. Architecting his life based on a fantasy of the past.
Our meeting was the reality. He told me what he’d told others. And as I’ve already told you, curiosity is all you need. I had no advice for him. I surrendered to questions.
When you do so, fantasy becomes what it is… an absurdity of the mind. Entertaining but false.
Truth steps in, and it does so without ego. So when the right question was asked, I told him plainly. “Aren’t you glad this person failed you?” Of course, this was the first time he’d heard this perspective. So he asked me what I meant. To which I reframed his story, utilizing only the truth, not the fantasy. “Everything you’ve told me tells me you got exactly what you needed out of this.”
Moments before, he said he felt he was complaining more than he did when I first met him three years ago. I disagreed. He was not complaining; he was realizing. He was seeing. And through the questions and curiosity… he was, whether he liked it or not, becoming.
Which made the last three years of his life exactly what he needed to understand the only person he spends every second of his life with.
And before the conversation ended, he understood the stakes. The staircase revealed that plans, the how, the strategy… were abstractions that prevented growth.
Before we ended, he told me about his ambition. It is a global ambition to help countless lives. Yet, he thought he hadn’t done it yet because he didn’t know how. I told him, “But you do. You do know how. You can’t see it because you don’t trust yourself to find it.” Like the acorn doesn’t need to be told how to grow into an oak tree, you don’t need to be told how to accomplish your mission.
You need to trust yourself. The person who does tells no fantasies. They need no validation. They see plans for what they are… absurd.
The person who trusts themselves second-guesses nothing, laments nothing, hopes for nothing.
They think very little about anything. What do they do?
They listen.
They take their spirit down their staircase, speak to their former self like they’re telling the best secret they could tell a child, and whisper to them… stop trying. Just listen. You’ve already done it.
And this is likely where your current feeling of being lost originates.
It could be that you had a trial in your past that still haunts you. It could be that your life seems perfectly fine on the outside — maybe even impressive — but there’s a missing piece on the inside. So, because the world has hardwired you as a person who desires to grow this way… you buy the frameworks, read the books, watch the videos, trust the coach’s system.
You place the truth on the shelf and go seeking the fantasy.
And that isn’t your fault. Because we may convince ourselves we’re OK with discomfort, but that’s a fantasy too.
It’s just easier and less painful to explore something new and external than it is to ask scary questions of ourselves.
But that is The Way.
One cannot know themselves if they withhold the most important questions for fear of the answers.
I see this weekly. The reason those I grab coffee with or the clients I serve keep my teachings in their minds long after the session is over is that it isn’t something I implanted in them.
They already know it. Everything I say, everything of mine you’ve read, may read like a different perspective, but it’s rooted in a truth you’re already aware of.
This is why I say everyone has the answer they’re seeking inside them right now. It’s just behind a locked door buried under two inches of dirt.
My job isn’t to give you the key. I don’t have it. You do.
My job is to sweep away the dirt. I do this naturally because I know the secret.
But I’m telling you…
So
Do
You.
The secret to a life you choose with a day you love is clear:
Trust yourself more than anything else, and you’ll get everything you want.
That’s not theory. A promise. Marketing speech. Or mystical hooey.
It’s the truth. You know it’s true. And now you can’t avoid it.
Because you’ve read the words, and had a reaction, and you’re damn welcome that this piece has introduced a turning point in your life you cannot avoid.
You see, there are only two options for you now.
You have a fight on your hands either way.
You can choose to fight these words and spend the rest of your life looking for how to get what you want.
Or you can embrace them and start listening to yourself and trusting what your Self has to say.
One’s a seeker. One’s a receiver.
So choose. Doesn’t have to be in this moment.
Take a walk. Call your mom. Walk outside, take your shoes off and wiggle your toes in the grass.
But know that it is done.
You will seek, or you will receive.
You will need and plan.
Or you will surrender and understand.
One architects an explained existence. One experiences life.
A beautiful, unexplainable, bangin’ life.
A life chosen through trust, with a day you love… over and over and over.
Yours.
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